Enough

I often find myself worried or reluctant (or perhaps even worse, constantly apologizing) because I'm afraid that what I have to offer isn't good enough, fast enough, smart enough, tasty enough, big enough - just not enough.  "Enough for what" would be a fair question that deserves further pondering.  I think a big motivator is prooving something to someone.  Prooving that I am indeed successful, or deeper yet, am worthy of love or capable of fully loving another. 

But constantly trying to prove yourself, even if it's for a "good" reason, is an exhausting way to live.  Better is to remember that the glory of God is within you.  That He calls us to offer our best, no matter how we judge it, and allow Him to make it enough.  Chances are the little boy who offered the loaves and fishes knew they weren't enough to feed the crowd of thousands.  But he had something good, and offering it allowed Jesus to multiply it, to feed everyone with leftovers...to make it enough, more than enough. 

It may not be readily obvious that what you vulnerably put out there is indeed enough.  There might not be a sudden burst of neon lights flashing "This is excellent and so are you."  There is no promise that everyone else, or even the person you most want to, will notice your efforts, much less applaud them.  But they're still valuable...they are the manifestation of the glory within you...they are the avenues through which all is made enough in due time.  And that, in itself, is enough.

And so I study, I work, I cook and pay bills and wash clothes...I laugh, take walks, and give myself pedicures...I listen, share, and love deeply...and I even write...believing that my glory is not only being put to good use, but perhaps growing a little brighter in the process.