"(Can't Get No) Satisfaction." Unless You Stop Trying So Hard

I haven't written for a little while...I've been wanting to, but didn't have the words. We've kept busy the past few weeks. I had a couple of work projects, as well as several large school projects to finish as the semester winds down. I actually just completed my last part for my last big group project, and took my last exam Saturday...so now I just have to do a couple of reviews and write a few short papers and I'll be down to 5 classes left in my MBA. Not sure how long it will take me to finish those 5, but still - that will be a good feeling and I'm proud of what I've accomplished so far. Or rather, if you keep reading, I'm proud of what I've learned and how I've enjoyed my MBA work thus far.

I've been pondering a couple of things lately - the value of family and friends, satisfaction, and disappointment. The first two I'll begin to tackle here. The third I'll save for later.

I've been reminded quite a bit of just how much I need people in my life. Not just how much I need them, but rather, how much joy they bring me and how much richer my life is because of them. This not-so-surprising reminder has come in the form of phone calls and emails from family; coffee, lunch, and dinner with friends; and evenings with our small group. But it also came through conscious remembering of certain times or events when I needed people and they were there, as well as when the presence or acts of others totally blessed me. Life isn't always easy and things don't necessarily happen the way my brain thinks they should, but I have people who will laugh, cry, and pray with me through anything...and most importantly, who love me for me - no changes required. And that makes up for an aweful lot. So to all the wonderful people in my life, near and far, family and friends...thank you so much for sharing with me and enriching my life with you. You are one of the things I am most grateful for this Thanksgiving.

Moving on to this post's title, which I'll leave to the Rolling Stones to sing...I've been thinking a lot about how to not get so caught up in dreaming, and then working toward those dreams, that you forget to be happy along the way. Or that you just want to skip the "along the way" period and jump to the desired end state. I've heard warnings against this attitude throughout life - don't be so focused on "getting out into the real world" that you rush through college...cause even though you might go back to school, rarely do you get to go back to the less-stressful, less responsibility, anticipation-filled days of college. Another warning was not to be so hurried to get married that you miss out on the joys and opportunities that single life and dating offer.

What I find interesting about this advice is that the end state ("real life" - aka career, freedom, etc, and marriage) are not bad things to wish for. In fact, they are good, even admirable things to work toward. The danger isn't in the goals themselves, but in the singularly-focused, die-hard drive toward them that eliminates any chance of actually enjoying the journey. And I'd dare to say, eliminates the majority of the sought-for satisfaction upon getting there. Which provides a double whammy - dissatisfaction with the current state (thus the goal), and dissatisfaction upon attaining the new desired state.

I think goals and dreams are very good things. Which works out nicely because I happen to have a lot of them. However, one of the things I've been learning over the past few years is that what "they" say is SO true - it is more about the journey than the destination. That I will thoroughly enjoy our office when I get the piles on the floor organized into the closet; but that the process of going through and sorting things, figuring out how to arrange it all, and actually doing the work is just as, if not more, enjoyable. IF I let it be, which I actually have been. I've also discovered that this means it typically takes a bit longer to get it done than simply putting it all in the closet and shutting the doors, but so much more rewarding in so many ways.

I think that far too often we get wrapped up in the lie "that as soon as I get this done, then I'll be happy." This search for satisfaction is neverending, because if it really is all about reaching the desired goal, well, there's always another one waiting as soon as you reach it. This crazy race is like the search for the fountain of life - people are so consumed with finding it, that they waste away the whole life they were given.

So what is my point in all this? I think it's that goals are good. But life doesn't start and happiness isn't attained when you reach them. In case you haven't noticed, life has already started and so far, no one has figured out a way to stop it...so life isn't about getting XYZ done, it's about how you do it. The mistakes you make and things you learn. The new little paths you end up taking. And happiness isn't just about achieving something...it's about enjoying the entire process you took to get there. That's what life is - it's not a series of accomplishments, although those often come. It's a series of journeys. And it's up to each of us to decide whether we're going to hurry up and rush through each journey as quickly as possible, or actually engage in and enjoy each one. The fact that God saw fit to put us on a particular journey, to give us a certain task, says to me there's a reason for it. And what a shame it would be to be so determined to get to the end that we miss what He intended to show us along the way.

And so I am working on being content. Not complacent, which is feeling secure and peaceful while completely unaware of what's going on around you, but truly being content...loosely paraphrasing the dictionary - feeling peace of mind and emotional satisfaction because I'm willing to accept the circumstances God has placed me in, and ready to engage in the journey so I learn what He wants me to. And most likely, finding quite a bit of joy along the way. That's life. So here's to each of us...may we truly live each day of our lives, not blaze our way through in a hurry to the next big thing.

Birthday Fun

This year my birthday fun started a couple of days before my actual birthday. Well, you could say it started a couple weeks before, with the arrival of my first gift when Mom and Dad came to help paint...I got to look at it for 6 whole weeks before opening it : ) Then the Friday before, Bryan took me on a surprise date to start celebrating...we went to the second Elways location in Cherry Creek (we ate at the other downtown location the evening of our wedding). It was quite yummy.

Then he took me to the mall next door and told me I could pick out a dress or a pair of shoes...woohoo! We ran out of time before deciding on something, but had tons of fun trying on boots...especially these (ridiculously priced) Manolo Blahnik beauties. Bryan still owes me a return trip to find just the right thing...I'm thinking some black ankle boots!

Bryan went out of town Nov 1, but he left me little gifts to find each day he was gone - so fun!

Then, due to a stroke of luck Gina flew into Denver for some work training, so we had a rather fabulous time shopping, eating, and just hanging out in general.

These dresses were not purchased, just tried on for fun.

Gina's enormo meatball sub and my blown-out candle at the Grand Lux Cafe.

And just because it was so...well...not what she wanted, here's a picture of Gina's awesome rental car.

I also received many wonderful birthday wishes and gifts from family and friends...thanks so much to everyone for making #29 a great one! Looking forward to a fabulous year with you all...

The End of an Age

Today is the last day that I will be 28. When I wake up tomorrow, I will have turned the page to number 29...and I'm ok with that. A couple of weeks ago I was dreading this day. I'm not sure why, because when I stopped to think about it (or rather, when Bryan finally convinced me), I realized that this past year has been pretty amazing and I think I have another one coming up.

28 has been good to me. I married the love of my life, spent quality time with family and friends, took some neat trips, (helped) paint our house, and dove back into my MBA, to name a few "big" things. I also took evening walks, planted flowers, read a couple books, organized bookshelves, did laundry, and packed lunches as I turned the calendar pages. Though perhaps seemingly less momentous, these day-to-day activities and the laughs and memories they induced shaped this last year just as much as the more monumental items.

And therein lies something I hope I remember all the rest of my birthdays (and the days in between) - the special times and exciting events in life are priceless. They invoke anticipation and hope and the best of memories, and I wouldn't trade the ones I've had for anything. But learning to delight in a hug when your husband gets home or in the way your flowers bloomed all summer or in how the paint in your kitchen makes you happy or in how a smile shared warms your heart...and finding satisfaction in neatly folded laundry, a completed homework assignment, or a home-cooked meal...these are the things that spawn joyful contentment.

I have been blessed. I have experienced an abundance of both exciting adventures and daily joys that leave me with a year full of awesome memories. Thanks to all those that helped create them...I'm looking forward to so many more to come with you. I'm also blessed to have someone to take the next year on with...thanks to my husband for making it a special week so far, and for what I still have to look foward to! It's my birthday - wooohooo! : ) 29, here I come!