This
morning we left Maynooth for Belfast. I
didn’t feel so great upon waking, but that improved a bit once I got up and
moving. The rain stopped just in time
for us to walk to the train station, and with a bit of luck we made our tight
connection in Dublin just fine. The
train ride to Belfast was pretty. We saw
a bit of coast/beach on the first part, and lots of green the rest of the
way. We intended to pow-wow as a team
about our leadership study on the train, but we weren’t able to sit
together. Which probably ended up being
a good thing, because we likely needed a spot of down time. I like just sitting back, relaxing, and
staring out the window on train rides.
Although last night when we got our of our last Maynooth cab I did note
that I’ll be ready to have my own car again.
Jill
was sitting next to a nice gentleman on the train and I heard him ask her where
she sees herself in two years. I currently
dread that question a bit. I know it’s
important to know where you’re heading because otherwise you could end up
anywhere…where you focus is where you go…etc.
But I don’t know just what that is.
I used have everything figured out.
I knew exactly what I was going to do and had my plan to get there. The last few years have changed that. It’s not necessarily bad, but it is different
and I don’t quite know what to think about it now. I don’t even know what I want to do. I feel like somewhere amidst the “should” and
“need” and busyness and drain that I lost a little piece of me. I don’t really think it’s lost, I
suppose. But I think that survival mode
pushes certain things down as others must rise for a time. I likely could sit and tell a great many
things that I think I want to do, but I’m not sure which of them are what I
think I should want to do and which I truly do want to do. And so I sit here and ask myself – what do
you want to do Kristi? I want to be part
of something that matters; I want the real me – not something I think I should
be – to be needed and appreciated; I want to lead something toward betterment;
and I want to have fun.
I
find myself to be very flexible. I can
lead, I can follow, I can be outgoing, I can be quiet, I can plan, I can be
spontaneous…I can pretty much adapt myself to whatever the situation
requires. Not that I’m exceedingly
fabulous at everything, but I’ve learned how to be what’s needed. I suppose that could be a good thing. But could it possibly also keep me from
thriving in the spot I would fit best? I’m
not sure I want to “fit in”…I kind of want to stand out. In a good way, of course. I’d much rather fit in than stand out for
being obnoxious.
I’m
contemplative today. Lots of wondering,
but no clear answers. Yet. I guess the pondering part should come before
the answers. So I’ll patiently keep
pondering…
We
arrived in Belfast with no trouble, despite the Queen also arriving today, and
dropped our luggage at the hotel. After
lunch in the hotel, we regrouped with the rest of the class and headed to the
Northern Ireland Science Park to meet Norman Apsley for a tour of the Titanic
dock and pump station. It was really
interesting to see how it all worked…and kind of amazing to go down into the
(dry) dock and see just how big it was.
We calculated (with a bit of help from physics extraordinaire Norman)
that the Titanic weighed about 45,000 tons.
That’s a lot of tons. Norman was
a really interesting guide and I enjoyed our tour.
Our
team then went to the Titanic museum, newly opened this year. It was better than I expected, and again,
very informative and interesting. It was
pouring when we finished, so we hurried back to the hotel, changed into dry
clothes, and went downstairs to eat again…and an hour later finally got a
table. Apparently the hotel restaurant
is a hot spot. Or more likely, the only
place to eat in the area :) We all
agreed at dinner that we’re glad we got the team, location, and project/CEO
that we did – I’m going to have some good memories when this is all over.
Sigh
- it’s going to be a short night, but it was a good day!
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