Someone told me something a couple of months ago that has stuck with me: “promote that which you want, not that which you expect.” I thought it was pretty insightful when I first heard it, but the more I’ve pondered on it and let it run in the background of my mind, the more I’ve come to realize how powerful this could be.
I am of the mindset that what we think about – that which we allow to run through our heads on a regular basis – greatly impacts how we live. In particular, how we respond to people/circumstances and what our general attitude is. Whether or not we claim these consistent thoughts as “beliefs” or not, they nevertheless shape how we live.
I don’t think this is one of those “say it’s so and it will be so” deals, but rather, a concept that says that what you spend all your time thinking about and focusing on is probably what you will end up promoting through your subsequent actions.
The theory is that people tend to promote (which could be anything from “influence” to “make happen”) that which they expect to or assume will happen. Take, for instance, a situation at work: you expect your project at work to fail and your boss to think you’re incompetent. You might start making excuses, coming down hard on teammates, looking for a new job, withdrawing from co-workers, and putting less effort in the project, because hey, it’s going to fail anyway. Whether or not that expectation was true to begin with, there’s a good chance that the preceding actions could indeed lead to the failure you expected.
On the other hand, maybe you think that failure is possible, but instead of acting like that is what will happen, you act out what you WANT to happen – project success. This could include forming better relationships with teammates, encouraging colleagues, finding the right way to apply your efforts more than ever, re-doing timelines, seeking input from your boss…things that would naturally lead to project success.
Or you expect an argument with a spouse or family member and thus approach the conversation with a belligerent, stubborn attitude or a huge list of reasons why you’re right…which ends up leading to the argument that may or may not have actually happened. You expect someone to think you messed something up, so you approach the matter defensively. Or you expect someone to say “no” so you hedge around the issue hinting at similar things that don’t go over well.
Why not go into all these situations with a positive attitude, angling toward what you actually want to happen!
Now I do think we need to be sensitive to other’s feelings and wise about preparing for certain situations…but I do have to wonder how many of the negative responses we receive and the unpleasant situations we find ourselves in were prompted by our own thoughts and subsequent actions.
The same wise person also told me an old tale that goes something like this: a grandpa was telling his young grandson that everyone has two lions inside of them – the good lion and the bad lion – and they are in constant battle with each other for control. “Which one wins?” asks the grandson. “The one that you feed” replied the grandfather.
What are YOUR thoughts feeding?
Feed the good, foster that which you want, and maybe, just maybe, you can help make it happen.
Food for thought, if nothing else.
